"apo"

in korean, "apo" is the slang for "pain." that's what i feel right now.

today i said goodbye to a number of students who have become my tiny friends. they're leaving because they've advanced to higher grades...

boys who made me pull my hair out, then want to squeeze them. girls who strove to succeed and yet still laughed easily. my youngest, and most brilliant, students, who were little creations of fun and eager minds. eyes sparkling when teacher walked in; hands raised excitedly with the answer... from the older, feigned disgust at 'grammar' and inexpressable relief when i pulled out the games and the pizza. perhaps i enjoyed being a slice of peace in this crazy over-worked, overachieving culture they're being pulled along in.

i loved learning their language and speaking on their own turf. they respected me for it, even when i butchered the simplest of sayings.

it's so hard to say goodbye. so hard to step out and make new relationships. i'm sure you all know how i am feeling. in some ways, it helps to know they'll miss me too.

we'll be gone for the next week to china, with our friends sacha and nate. we're off to see the Great Wall and panda bears :) the tour includes a five-star hotel and an english-speaking tour guide. should be fun. should help to absolve this pain. then it's back for one more term (for Emily) and two for Trent.

thanks for listening. it helps to vent... i can only pray these little people saw a fragment of Jesus' immense heart in me, believed more in His love because of me.